The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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