I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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