just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
