just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Randomize
