this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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