Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize