Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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