BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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