I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize