There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize