Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
