found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
