I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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