I'm sorry my penis didn't work
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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