I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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