If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He? As in you personified your dick?
I am naked and annoyed.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
