is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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