The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
