He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
this just has baby written all over it
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just googled if crying burns calories
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
