dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
