it hurts more in the daytime
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
