Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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