Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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