do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Is it because I queefed?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
