In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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