He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
