I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
