I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
as a side note pls kill me
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
