at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
