My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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