i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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