is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she peed on how many people?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
