i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
