Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
