i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
