8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
