Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize