I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
