Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
