She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
