There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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