I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
