oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
