Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
