Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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