You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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