in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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