So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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