Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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