Im at strip club and am horny
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
