didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Bang-toberfest begins!!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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