At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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