I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
