so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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