I just cut my nipple shaving
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize