i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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