Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Did I show you my penis last night?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
