I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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