Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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