didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
