So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
