Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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