you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
