Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
